i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize