how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
