I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
