Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize