I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
