Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this just has baby written all over it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
