it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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