based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize