My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
