a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
