i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
