just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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