he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
