piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just google imaged poop.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize