She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
