This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
