it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
