I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
