And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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