guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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