I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
