What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
