to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
