what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
