I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
