Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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