Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
