dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
