party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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