Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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