If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
