But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so let's talk penis.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
