where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm both gender and math confused
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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