it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
40s are totally the cure
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
