Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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