And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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