Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
