I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
