If that was your dad, he is hot
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
