He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
