He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
