I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
