you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize