He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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