so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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