got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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