I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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