During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Drunk is not a location!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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