So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
