Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
