He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
