woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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