I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
