yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
