I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The feeling are messing with the penis
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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