Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
