So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
