when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
