You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
