This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
