I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize