This girl is more easily done than said...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
