I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
