this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
