So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So much rum. So many feels.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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