I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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