How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
