my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
