do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
