so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize