You made me cry and you don't even care
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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