wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
